One of the most interesting, and often entertaining, pieces of parenting for me, has been teaching my children about money. Unless we somehow come in with a crystal clear blueprint (and even as a financial coach, I certainly didn’t!), the whole thing can be kind of murky and confusing at first. So we try some things, we make mistakes, we try something else. And then gradually over the years as the children grow up, we can start to see the lessons sink in, and the children developing and learning. Eventually when the young people leave home, hopefully they have acquired an understanding of their money personalities and some of the nuts and bolts of how to take care of finances and life.

Clients will often ask me during a session, a question about some aspect of teaching their children about money. Maybe they’re not sure what to do about an allowance, or how to help the child save, or what to have them do with monetary gifts they have received… However, in the sessions we typically have plenty to cover in terms of the adult finances, and so the parenting questions can get back-burnered, and I often wish that I had a book that I could hand to them. Well, the good news is that the section above is the opening paragraph of that book! I have finally completed it, and it is available on my website, and in person to anyone who works with me directly. It’s a short book – just 50 pages – so it’s a very easy read, and it covers ages from birth till when they leave home, with a special section for college.

I believe that it is helpful to start letting our children work with money early – it’s not too early to start an allowance at four. That way the child will have many years to play with it, and they can make mistakes while they are still relatively young, with only a few dollars involved. To take a painful month to pay $10 back to your brother when you are eight is a completely different level of problem than to take on an ill-advised student loan in college that will dog you for the rest of your life.

In general, there are two goals to this process of helping our children learn about money. One is for them to figure out some systems and approaches that work, and to learn what actions have good and bad outcomes. And at the same time, the other goal is for them to learn who they are with regard to money, what their relationship to it is. Every person is different. Both of these goals they can only achieve by making mistakes – by exploring, doing things that they regret or that don’t work out that well, resolving not to do them again. Over the years, I think that this is the most important lesson that I personally have learned – that this whole journey has been an exploration for them, a developing of expertise by practicing and by stumbling.

In order to keep the book interesting, I have included stories from my clients, friends and from my own family. (Many of the stories are amalgams, and names have been changed.) I have tried to be comprehensive, but I’m sure that I have missed some specific situations, or that there are other questions. So I’m happy to answer any questions if you have them after reading it.

You can find all the info and order copies from my website. If you have friends, relatives or colleagues who might be interested, don’t hesitate to get them a copy too!

My children have all left home now, so it’s that moment where the rubber hits the road and they get to test what they have learned. It would be fair to say that they listened to me on this topic about as well as children do on any topic, but somehow some of the information seems to have trickled through. The youngest one has set himself up an IRA, and the older one called me the other day to discuss health insurance. Who ever could have imagined that a discussion of health insurance could be that gratifying!